Top 10 Reasons We Don't Want to See You This Christmas (humor)
Wednesday, December 23, 2009

True safety tips embedded in some irreverent humor

The Top 10 Reasons Red Cross (and Firefighters and Paramedics) Does NOT Want to See You This Christmas

1. You fell asleep with a cigarette in your mouth, or in your hand.
   
2. In an effort to match your 'rustic' Southwestern decor, you put real candles on the tree, and kaboom.
   
3. You deep fried turkey in the living room. (Hey, it was cold outside!)
   
4. You haven't emptied your dryer's lint filter since 1987.
   
5. One finger in electrical socket; other hand on Festivus pole.
   
6. You choked on Grandma's candy ribbon and nobody bothered to help you.
   
7. Santa's boots sparked a fire in your chimney, which you haven't cleaned yet this century.
   
8. The dogs ran wild, knocking the Kwanzaa candles over.
   
9. You left the frankincense burning unattended, and a stray spark set the myrrh and decorations alight.
   
10. Your robes caught aflame while dancing 'round the Solstice bonfire.
    

We're getting a bit punchy from working so hard this week, but there's something serious to be learned from this list. Wishing you a merry, silly, joyous, and SAFE holiday!

Credit to authors Jennifer Tersigni, Andrea Fleisher, and Charlie King, American Red Cross, Southern Arizona Chapter.